owenlarkin

Nobody/everybody I've got to be honest with you. I'm screwed bigtime. I'm not talking normal screwed, I'm talking two bottles of ammonia and bleach tossed into a trash compacter in a poorly ventilated room screwed. Let's break this down, shall we? I was working as a housekeeper at a mental hospital until I got hit and ran by a red pickup truck back in March. I happened to be living with hoarder parents at the time but a friend of mine offered a room to rent out with my savings so I wouldn't have to live in a trash heap. The expectation was to have me get back up on my feet and able to pay full rent by the point my friend was going to move out of state but I couldn't find work that paid enough to sniff my rent's bootheels, and this place is abnormally cheap. I never got a driver's license, my right arm is badly damaged and struggles to hold up a loaf of bread, I don't have a college degree, and I never apprenticed in any trade. My art has never made me any money, and neither has my

I like to think that, sometimes, when I give context I'm giving it to an indefinitely large amount of people in the future. It helps me not mince my words because the stakes are high if I do. There's this virtual world inside my head that I'm tending and cultivating so that the most accurate image of me is there to see. I generally don't lie or express anything I believe to be false because there are many very difficult truths I have expressed to you, nobody/everybody, that I don't want to render into moot efforts by introducing doubt. I see this, metaphorically, like posting a vector graphic file where it's indefinitely publicly available like the internet just so one can imagine the image being projected onto a building or even the moon one day by someone else. It's unlikely that it'll happen, sure, but by making it possible I can dream more vividly. I don't like to publish accounts of where I'm at, what I'm doing, who I'm with, what have you. I consider that a breach of the privacy

Language is duplicitous so, to clear things up, I'll say that I don't hope I never make money from my art. I'd rather be paid to be alive to make art rather than by my art because otherwise the root source of my art is changed. I don't want to make art that is multitasking as an advertisement for a purchase because my current art isn't and I value consistency. How would I get away with cultivating such a lifestyle? There's services like Patreon, Paypal, CashApp, you name it, that offer ways I can monetize being alive. Other people have accomplished similar things before me so I don't think it's inherently out of the question. If it means I have to work a job then so be it. I value consistency so I'd rather be paid for being the person I am than be paid by what I produce. The things I make are not intended to be profitable. I don't know how they would be priced if I died tomorrow and I don't particularly care. If people enjoy what I do while I'm around to the point where they'd pay